Lesson 35: Middle Age: Their Kids and Their Parents

Attention

Parents sometimes struggle to keep up with the changing technologies and ideologies of their children!

Learning Outcomes

Upon completion of this lesson's material, students will be able to:

  • Reflect on the role of "kinkeeper" in family
  • Identify the roles associated with the "sandwich generation"
  • Identify examples of "generation gap"

Teaching

Kinkeepers

As we grow up we have relied upon others in our family to keep the ties between people connected. In midlife, we may take on these roles, or they may die off.

Kinkeepers are the "people who gather family members together for celebrations and keep them in touch with each other...usually a middle-aged mother."

Who is the kinkeeper in your family?

Sandwhich Generation

Sometimes middle-aged adults are caught between the competing demands of two generations...taking on roles of taking care of both their parents and their kids (and their jobs, etc.)

Relationships with Children

Middle-aged adults experience a new kind of relationship with their own kids...they may also experience "Empty Nest". Successful transition of these roles depends on some factors:

  • Parental support for the children's independence
  • Ongoing ability to "help"
  • Strong, positive, independent relationship with partner

Sometimes it doesn't work well out there, and the kids come back home! Boomerang Kids!

  • Men are more likely to move back in than women
  • Low college GPA
  • Low sense of autonomy
  • Expectations

Becoming Caregivers

The job of caring for elders usually falls to the daughters or daughter-in-law. They tend to be the coordinators as well.

As a social worker I was often in the role of helping families deal with the care of aging parents. In addition to these responsibilities the caregivers often had the additional responsibilities of taking care of their own families, their children, their household, and their jobs. This can create quite a strain as children take on the "parent" role with their parents, and parents transition to being dependent on their kids.

I often felt that, at one point or another, having someone move into a nursing home was a better option. This allowed the physical care of the elder person to be done by others, thus preserving the parent-child relationship (and grandparent-grandchild) relationship.

Mark K.

Generation Gap

Read THIS article on how the Generation Gap is narrowing...what do YOU think?

Assessment

Lesson 35 Quiz

  1. Who is the primary kinkeeper in your family and what are some examples of their activities as kinkeeper (be specific).

Lesson 35 Discussion

Review the article on Generation Gap. Comment on your own experiences regarding the views and values that you have and how they relate to your parents and grandparents.