Lesson 10: Family Engagement

Attention

Learning Outcomes

Upon completion of this lesson's material, students will be able to

  • Define family engagement
  • Describe strategies to promote family engagement.
  • Discuss personal barriers that impede on effective family engagement.

Teaching

Family engagement is a fairly new term used to describe the relationship between the staff and families in the best interest of the child. You may have heard the term parent involvement, an older term used to describe the parent's participation in the program. The term shifted to family engagement to best capture what it is that early childhood educators are doing, which is engaging families in best practices to optimize development of children and progress towards goals. For more information read, Family Engagement as Parent Involvement.

Early childhood education is not just about children. It is about supporting the holistic development of children within the context of their families. The child is not singular but a part of a family that should receive the same amount of effort (from you) as the child does, especially in the first three years. Engaging with families can be tricky and uncomfortable at times. You may not always agree with parenting style or life choices. However, just as every child is an individual, so is each family. And just as the children deserve individualization and a fair chance, the families do as well.

In today's world there are more crises and struggles that families face than ever before. Poverty, substance abuse, domestic violence and mental health challenges are a few big ones. Unfortunately, these hard times directly affect the children, and families can feel even more overwhelmed. They sometimes cannot see the relationship between the crisis and the behavior of the child. Sometimes, they do not see that there is even a problem. In these types of situations, it is easy to point the finger or blame. It is also easy to avoid or minimize the truth. Here is a scenario:

A young, first time mom brings in her 8 week old child every morning with an extremely full diaper. Sometimes when you take the child you are worried that the diaper will pop as you cradle him. The mom doesn't appear to be in a rush and she stays to chat with you for quite a while about how his night was and all of the great things they did together! Eventually she leaves and you head straight for the bathroom to change this little guy's diaper. There is quite a rash and you are worried that the diaper cream isn't working. He cries and cries and you feel awful about changing him because you know it just has to be hurting him.

Some of you might be wondering, "Is this the same diaper they put on him the afternoon before?" Does she change his diaper at all? If there is a diaper rash, shouldn't that make her want to change his diaper even more frequently? Why can't this mom meet such a basic need for this baby?

Let me give you mom's perspective of what she is thinking in the mornings:

OH NO! I slept late because I was up all night AGAIN with little Jimmy. Being a new mom is exhausting. I am so scared that I am doing it wrong and there is no one to help me. I love little Jimmy so much though. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I better get dressed; the shelter mandates I be out of here every morning by 7:30! Awwwww…. Look at my sweet boy sleeping so peacefully. I think I will let him sleep as long as he can and take him straight over to daycare as soon as I wake him up. They have diapers and cream there so what will an extra five minutes hurt? (Gets to daycare) Oh man, she felt his diaper when she took him again. I wonder if she thinks I don't care that he is wet. Well, let me tell you lady…..I DO CARE. I am the best mom ever! I am going to tell you about all of the fun things we did last night and how much I love him. I can't let her know that we are in the shelter though, I am so embarrassed, and how on earth will I care for this baby. She probably thinks I am the worst mom ever.

Now, what I hope you are thinking is, "wow, this mom was really rushed this morning. A young, first time mom living alone with her baby in a shelter must be really hard. I wonder if she has made the connection between the diaper rash hurting him and him being up all night. She obviously she cares about him and trusts that we will take care of him while she is not here. Maybe I should talk to her about the rash and provide her with some parenting support."

Like I said, it is easy to assume, judge and avoid the issue. However, it will be easier in the long run if you partner with the family and talk about things. It is never safe to assume. The mom may or may not be receptive to the conversation but you have at least opened up the door, provided some parenting information and hopefully made some gains for little Jimmy.

In October 2015, the ZERO TO THREE network surveyed a little over 2,000 parents of young children and discovered the following:

  • 90% of moms and 85% of dads feel judged
  • When stressed, almost half (48%) of the parents do not feel like they get the support they need
  • 63% of the parents are skeptical of people who give parenting advice that do not know their situation specifically
  • 83% of parents believe good parenting can be learned

Research tells us that - when parents feel supported, they are better able to care and provide a healthy environment for the child. What is unfortunate about this study is that it reveals that ONLY half of the parents feel supported when they are stressed, and over three quarters of them feel judged! I don't know about you, but I feel stressed when I am judged.

What is FORTUNATE about this study is that there is an opportunity to connect with families on parent approaches. Parents want to know more! Parents want to feel supported and heard. Read the full study and jot down every opportunity for family engagement that you read: National Parent Survey. Then read the takeaways for parents from the survey and ask yourself, "How can I communicate that to families?"

Before this study was conducted, it was still best practice to engage families in every way possible. This study gives us affirmation and up to date information that will help drive home the point that family partnerships and engaging families matter. It makes a difference. It shouldn't matter what the barrier is, parents are generally open to ideas and welcome strategies.

Shortly before the survey, ZERO TO THREE put out comments on Family Engagement. The key message mimics exactly what we have been talking about. Family engagement is an essential part of working with children. We must respect and partner with all families, leave our biases behind and treat every family with respect. Download the Comments on Family Engagement and note how you WILL use the effective strategies mentioned.

Assessment

Lesson 10 Assignment

After reading the Comments on Family Engagement effective strategies you should have been thinking about how you will use these strategies when working with infants and toddlers specifically. For this assignment I want you to provide specific examples of how you have or will assure effective family engagement by using these strategies. I want you to be SPECIFIC and provide original ideas….not just copy what the article says. Give examples of things you might say and do.

How will you:
• Integrate attention to parents at ALL points of connection co-create the family engagement approach?
• Create opportunities for parents to connect with each other?
• Infuse cultural competence into family engagement?
• Help parents find joy in parenting?
• Be attuned to parents’ needs?

Lesson 10 Discussion

Sometimes the hardest part of family engagement is recognizing that we can be a part of the barrier. We are human! We get stressed, have biases and only know what we know. The important thing is that we reflect, we learn, we grow. To help each other reflect, learn and grow, provide a strategy that you use to avoid being a barrier to effective family engagement.